Friday, January 27, 2012

Facebook Five

I know not everyone jumped on the Facebook train, and truth be told, I think it's dying a little. It's still nice to use to see what everyone is up to and to stay close to those who aren't close by, but like everyone else who has ever joined, there are some things that piss me off:

1. Although there are some people who update their status every hour, I am not one of them. When I update my status, it's because I have something to say and I'm looking for likes and comments. My peeve is when I update my status and someone's comment on my status has nothing to do with the subject I brought up.

For example: yesterday I wrote, "The bank lady just asked if I was the boys' mom or older sister.... That's some great customer service." (This totally happened!) The first comment I got on that was, "How was your cruise?" WTF? What does that have to do with anything? I deleted the comment and let everyone else tell me how young and beautiful I look (except my cousin who was sure that the bank lets their employees drink during the day).

2. I am a writer. And I love individuality. And I would love if everyone could be creative and original. But they are not. And that's fine. But leave it off of facebook. I hate reading "Merry Christmas Everyone!!!! :)" over and over again. Or when someone famous dies "RIP Famous Person. U will be missed!!! :(" Seriously, if you don't have something original to say, maybe just don't say anything.

3. Which brings me to my next peeve. I call it the "I can't sleep" post. There are people on facebook that will complain about the same thing every single day. And either they can't sleep or they're sick. Are you ever well? How do you function without any sleep at all ever? Do you think that the rest of us are somehow immune from driving kids to their activities?

4. I really don't like when someone has the most vague post. Like when someone writes: "I hate when *people* don't ask me how I'm doing when I've obviously had a bad day because of that thing that happened earlier." Now I'm wondering what happened earlier, who *people* refer to, and how much I would actually care if I did know the whole story.

5. Conversely, I also don't want too much information. I'm not interested in your bodily functions. Period.

Some things I do like:

I have a friend who posts every morning about her train ride to work. She makes fun of the other passengers and it's hilarious.
Is qt amused by fellow commuter who is wearing ribbed polo neck and fake fur coat, drinking a flask of tea and now bemusedly rubbing forehead as she's overheating. What did she expect, -40 on the train?

I have a few friends that will write about pop culture:
Those poor Russians. Their greatest love machine was Rasputin, and that was almost 100 years ago.
Has an embarrassing confession for this uncomfortably public venue: I've never quite gotten over my 7th grade love for The Barenaked Ladies.

I have a friend that posts something for his wife every day:
If you ever disappeared while hiking, I love you so much I'd remain with the search party until it started raining or got dark.

In conclusion, if you are my facebook friend, you know what I'm expecting.


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