Wednesday, December 28, 2011

2011 is Over

I'm back. For real this time. The boys are back at school and we're back on schedule. This should have been posted a couple of weeks ago, but nonetheless, here is a New Year's meme that I will try to fill out every year from now on.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
I followed a zip-line rope course 15 feet above ground, I whitewater rafted, I ate quinoa, and I went to Vegas by myself.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I always make five resolutions. I hardly ever achieve them all. But I figure the more I make, the more chance I have of accomplishing at least one. I accomplished two. This year, I resolve to do things that I was already kind of planning to do anyway (like visit Seattle--I've never been and neither has BFF).
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I got a nephew this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?
Just this one and the States.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Fame, fortune, perhaps someone who will take me out for the kind of dinner I have to dress up for.
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Mostly just the day my nephew was born and the day that X died. Oh and I'll always remember 2011 as "wasn't that the year I spent my birthday driving to Manitoba?"
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think this was the year that I actually starting feeling like a freelance writer. People actually call me every month wanting to pay me money to write or edit something.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Physically letting myself go. I know I've mentioned it before, but I weighed more than I have since I was pregnant.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a cold a couple of months ago. It was tough and I spent it watching daytime TV which only made it worse. Seriously, what is with Drew Carey asking everyone if they want to say hello to anyone on "The Price is Right"? It's the same question over and over; find something new to say Drew.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think I bought myself more clothes this year than I have since before I was married. I'll usually buy a garment or two here and there, but this year I feel like I got A LOT of new clothes and boots.
12. Where did most of your money go?
School fees and sports fees and groceries to feed two fourteen-year-old boys.
13. What did you get really excited about?
Having such a winning football season.
14. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Anything by Glee.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder?
Thinner or fatter?
Richer or poorer?
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish we had travelled more.
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

18. How did you spend Christmas?
With the boys at home. Usually, X picks them up right after breakfast and they visit his family but this year they stayed home all day. I asked them which they preferred: they like visiting with tons of people and getting more gifts. Maybe next year I'll ship them off with X's sister after breakfast.
19. What was your favorite TV program?
The Biggest Loser, Glee, Grey's Anatomy, New Girl
20. What were your favorite books of the year?
I kept track this year; I read 47 books. One of my resolutions is to read more than that. My favourite though...? The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series was surprisingly good and I discovered Christopher Moore whom I find funny.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Glee. Not every Glee song is great, but I do enjoy quite a few of them.
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
I watched a lot of awful made-for-TV Christmas movies this year. None of them were my favourites. I saw "Bridesmaids." It was good.
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 39 (for real) and I spent it driving to Manitoba. To be fair, when I got there, there was a Jeanne's cake waiting for me. These cakes are made in Winnipeg at Jeanne's bakery and they are amazing.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
This year was mostly disappointing all the way around for lots of little reasons and a few bigger reasons. There is no one thing that would have made it "immeasurably" more satisfying (though Malison moving away didn't help). I'm glad it's over and I have very high hopes for 2012.
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Lazy. Dresses are easy so I didn't have to put a whole lot of thought or effort into my clothing choices.
26. What kept you sane?
I just didn't have time to be insane.
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Focusing on awesome things will not make all your problems go away, but it will allow you to handle them gracefully.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Old Men Five...uh...Three

As of late, I have become extremly attractive to old men. I think I can explain why. When my ex-boyfriend and I were breaking up, one of his parting shots was that there are so many women in my situation that men could just pick and choose which one they wanted and discard them at will because, obviously, single women with kids are so fucking desperate that they'll just take the first man that shows them any interest...I may be paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it. The really sad thing is that I know women like this; their facebook status updates are cringe-worthy.

Anyway, in the last month, three different old men have hit on me. So this is like a Yucky Friday Five but with only Three:

1. The first one may or may not actually have been hitting on me. We were at a function, he came and sat by me, and seemingly tried to impress me with talk of his all-star son, the company he owns, his exercise and diet regime, and his spacious home and vacation condo. Now, it's possible that he could think that this is appropriate dinner conversation, but he wasn't aiming it at any men at the table, y'know? Later in the meal, he asked me to rewrite his website. Then when I called him later in the week, he proposed getting together one evening for coffee to discuss it. Yeah, I like to conduct business during business hours, so I shot him down. He then cancelled a meeting I set up with him on Monday morning. Sure, I could be reading into that one...but I don't think so.

2. One day last month, when the boys were out of school for the week, we spent a morning renewing our passports. On the way home, we stopped at a mall in the city and ended up eating in the food court. I accidentally made eye contact with this old man who came over to tell me, "I've been looking for you all night." It was noon; I was with my kids. "You're beautiful. I love your freckles." Then he tried to tell me he had bought me some strawberries and tried to give me a bag from the grocery store. He dropped them on the floor, bent over to retrieve them, and that's when I noticed the 40-ounce bottle of rye in his inside pocket. (You gotta be pretty dedicated to carry around an entire 40. Not a flask. Not a mickey. A 40-ounce bottle.) I was finally able to get rid of him, but then he came back to say, "I'm very sorry AND I'd like to apologize." (Apparently these are two very separate things.) He was sorry to waste my time and also he told me he was out of my league.

3. When I got home, I posted on my facebook that apparently I was very attractive to old, drunk men. One of the replies I got was "and also old, sober men." That was nice, and obviously just a joke...I hope. Here's the creepy part that I found out just yesterday, though. The man who posted this on my facebook had been, just that morning, to his wife's funeral. Gah. All kinds of inappropriate.

I'd like to go on record as saying this:

  • If you are more than ten years older than me, I'm not interested.

  • If your wife just died or you are freshly divorced, I'm not interested.

  • If you are drunk, I'm not interested.

  • If you're looking for a trophy wife, I'm not interested...probably; this really depends on how much money you have.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Spooky Text Conversation

We are having one of our patented lunches (where I sit in a restaurant and text with my friend that lives a kajillion miles away)

Malison: Do you sense X around lately?
Me: No. Not at all. I think/hope he's moved on. Do you?
Malison: I think about him a lot. He's the only person I know that died.
Me: What do you think about exactly?
Malison: I've been reading about life after death. I have to wonder what he's up to.

We chat more about life after death, our beliefs, etc. etc. And then this is where it gets spooky.

Me: Weird. Some guy just walked into the restaurant that smells like X: smoke and too much cologne to cover it up.
Malison: Cool. I just read disembodied smoke and cologne are signs of his presence. Seriously.
Me: It does seem like an odd coincidence, doesn't it?
Malison: You should try to talk to him. Maybe he's a messenger. Bwah-ha-ha-ha.
Me: He's a 20-year-old foul-mouthed douchebag. Yeah, maybe he is a messenger.
Malison: Anything else about him? Any numbers? Does he seem happy?
Me: I'm eavesdropping. He's calling people bitches and shitheads and talking about how much money he makes.
Malison: What about other signs: falling leaves, rainbows, coins, songs?
Me: I don't see anything but a FedEx truck and the music is Japanese. Geez, do I have to know multiple languages to receive a sign?

And then we chat some more about other stuff. And then I get in my car to drive home, and parked in front of my house is a car exactly like X's.

*ghostly noises*


Monday, December 12, 2011

Over a Month?!

What I've been doing while I wasn't here:

  • I had a meeting scheduled for this morning. I showered, got dressed, and he phoned to cancel. So, here I sit, all dressed up in professional clothing trying to figure out what to do with my day that won't waste these nice clothes. I mean, obviously, I have to go somewhere.

  • I have the kind of thermostat that can be set to be different temperatures at different times of the day. But when it was set many years ago, I was working out of the house so the temperature dips down to really-cold because it doesn't think anyone is here, and I can't remember how to change the settings. Every morning I allow myself to turn it up for one cycle. Like a weird-ass treat for allowing myself to work from home.

  • I've been pretty sad over the weekend. I just got news that my very favourite restaurant will no longer exist after December 31. Anyone wanting to go there should drive up from wherever they live (hint hint Malison) and go for lunch with me. I have asked for my Christmas present from them to be the recipe for the salad dressing.

  • Football season ended. They played the last game in the freeeeeeezing cold and lost. One loss in the entire season is fabulous, except for that particular one meant the most. Next year: high school football with the big kids. Right now it's basketball season. This year, the boys are playing both community league and school. We don't like to be still.

  • I've lost 9 pounds in the last 6 weeks. And not even by trying very hard. Just being more aware really. Plus I've started going to the gym again. My chiropractor gave me the ok to try running again and so far, so good. *knocks on wood*

  • I've been getting ready for Christmas. The tree isn't up yet, but I bought the candy canes to decorate it with. Also, I've started a lot of different homemade items that I plan to give to people as gifts, though I have yet to finish any of them. And I've done some shopping...not all the shopping, but I've definitely started.

So, I've been busy is my point. And that's why it's been over a month since my last post.