Monday, October 31, 2011

Good Weekend

One day, when the boys were quite young, they were outside playing with their dad. They were running, and wrestling, and he was running out of breath, so he yelled, "Whoa! Time out." Both boys started crying; X was confused. To him, "time out" meant "give me a second to catch my breath" but to them it meant "you've done something bad and must now go sit quietly in a designated area."

The boys have since learned the other meaning of time out, and this weekend we heard those words more than usual. In basketball, each team can call a time out in every one of the four quarters; same with football. This weekend, I sat through 24 time-outs.

In the first basketball game, the boys pulled off a pass so good that it left their coaches wondering if they have twin telepathy. In the second basketball game, Twin B was on fire. Basket after basket after basket. Both games were so close that we almost didn't win.

And football yesterday...the first quarter saw a score of 15-0 for the wrong team. We've played this team before; they're good. But these are playoff games now; we're playing teams that could potentially beat us. And if we lose, that's it for the season. Four long quarters later, the game ended at 29-20...and next weekend we'll play an even better team.

But first, a moment of silence for those football players in Grande Prairie.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Why We've Been Friends Forever

I have a friend that I've known since grade one. That is over 30 years. And sometimes we talk all the time and sometimes months will go by, but we've always been friends. I think this is why:

Background:[Sister of Skipper] had a baby the night before. There were complications and she ended up having a c-section.

Skipper: I have to pay my bills. [Husband] is in Indiana and I don't know where we keep the flashlight.

Me: You could use the money you save on bills to buy a new one. That's easier and you get to go shopping.

Skipper: Yeah, but [Husband]'s still not here. I'd have to take the kids shopping with me.

Me: Well, it's not like [Sister]'s doing anything; I'm sure she'll watch them.

Skipper: Maybe I'll just drop them off at the hospital. She's just sitting on her ass anyway.

Me: Exactly! Now you're thinking. If you want *I* can help you out...I'm great at going shopping.

Skipper: Hmmm if I don't pay the mortgage, we can really have some fun.

Me: Woohoo! Maybe we could go shopping in Vegas...or Beverly Hills.

Skipper: Where do you think we live? Our mortgage payment might only buy us lunch there.

Me: Sorry. I got carried away.

Skipper: I bet we could buy a few cheap drinks at a convenience store somewhere near Beverly Hills.

Me: In Hollywood maybe?

Skipper: Ok. When do we leave? Since [Sister] is available, I can be ready in five minutes.

Me: Done!



Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday X-treme

Sometimes I don't give X enough credit. He was a good guy that had a problem that he no longer has. So, he escaped from this problem in what was not an overly healthy way. Regardless, he was nice and sweet and funny and that is not a side that I've shared. It would have been his birthday this month, so a tribute to X:

1. He was a very average-sized man, but he could eat a ton. He was the kind of guy that would challenge all the "eat a humongous amount of beef and we'll give you your meal free" contests that some restaurants have. And after he ate that much beef, he'd have a peice of apple pie just to prove his point. I think part of the reason he loved me was because I did not eat that much. So when we ate, he would end up with most of my meal which suited both of us just fine...until I got pregnant and I was starving. He used to stare at my plate longingly, just waiting for me to say "would you like the rest?" One time, I got annoyed and told him he looked like a vulture. He got up from the table, walked around the room, ruffling his wings and thrusting his head forward, and then swooped in and grabbed my food while I laughed my ass off.

2. You know how you always call your partner by his pet name, but you hardly ever say his actual name, but then his actual name starts to sound weird when you do call him that? I noticed one day that I never called him by his real name so I decided to make his actual name my pet name for him. He'd walk in the door at night and I'd greet him with "Hello FirstnameLastname." He seemed to like it well enough.

3. We used to hang out with his recovering alcoholic friends a lot. These people were honestly great. Some looked scary, most looked like they had had hard lives, but they were, without exception, sensitive and kind people (at least the ones that we hung out with). We used to spend a lot of time at X's sponsor's house. Inevitably, Sponsor would end up having a few other people over and we'd start to play cards. The favourite card game in this crowd was Spoons. The point is everyone takes one card out of their hand, passes it to the next person, over and over again until someone ends up with three of a kind. Then that person grabs a spoon from the middle of the table. When you see someone grab for a spoon, you should also grab a spoon (even though you don't have three of a kind) and the one person who doesn't end up with a spoon is out. It can, at times, get pretty violent, depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are. I once watched X and Sponsor fly down the stairs wrestling for the last spoon. I don't remember who got the final spoon, but I do remember the ashamed looks on their faces when when they emerged from the basement and explained to Sponsor's wife that they broke the railing on the way down.

4. Last year at around this time, I hurt my back. I'm not sure how it happened, but I was in bed for a week. I could barely move; it would take me about an hour to get to the bathroom and back. When X found out about this, he went out of his way to bring me pain medication, he helped me out of bed, and he made and brought me food. And you guys, this is after we've been split up for nine years. I wouldn't have done the same for him; I think there are very few people that would treat their ex with such kindness. It is this kind of behaviour though, that makes it hard to hate him.

5. After we split up the very last time, and he found himself a more permanent place to live and tried to put his life back into some sort of order, he met the girl who would, after many years and much drama, become his fiance. When he first met and fell in love with her, he desperately wanted me to meet her (it's funny that it was *my* approval he was seaking). I told him that I'd love to meet her and he brought her over one day. "[Lily Starlight], this is Angle, my girlfriend; Angle, this is [Lily Starlight], my..." there was a pause here, a pause because as he was saying it he realized that we weren't officially divorced, a pause that suddenly let him know that this might just be an awkward situation, but he finished it anyway "...wife." We laughed and shook hands.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Fat People Get Skinny

I have an obsession with shows that have larger people making life-altering transformations. Rather than learn all the names of these shows, Twin A calls ALL of them "Fat People Get Skinny." It works.

My favourite is "The Biggest Loser." And I don't know what it is about that show, but every time I watch it, I get hungry. It's like I'm trying to show off or something. "Yeah, you work out for eight hours a day and I'll sit here on my couch and eat buttery popcorn." Honestly, who do I think I am?! But the part of that show that bothers me: every week, they ask if I want to be a contestant on "The Biggest Loser." No, I certainly do not. I very much admire those that are contestants; good for them for changing their lives. I just hope never to qualify to be on that show is all.

In that case, though, I might have to get up off my couch, put away my buttery popcorn, and get my ass moving. And maybe eat a vegetable every once in a while for god's sake.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I'm Sorry

I'm really bad at apologizing. I can feel regret and shame for things I've done, but I can't bring myself to say I'm sorry. And it's not that I get all defensive and try to justify what I've done; I'm very contrite, but I just can't bring myself to say those words, "I'm sorry."

This doesn't regularly effect my every day life, as I try not to do anything I'll be sorry for. But there is one person that I desperately would like to apologize to and I'm not even sure why.

Is it because I'm not devastated that his dad is dead? Is it because I want him to be someone who accepts change easier? Is it because I want him to try even if he might fail? Is it because no matter how I try I just can't give him what he needs?

I honestly don't know. But I'm really, really sorry.

Monday, October 17, 2011

My Weekend (in point form)

Friday night: Those boys played the final regular season football game of the year. We are now in playoffs. My life will not look any different. We will still practice every night and there will be games on the weekend.

Saturday afternoon: Those boys played their second basketball game of the season. It was an exciting game that had the other people winning, then us winning, then them, then us, etc. We came in second in the game.

Saturday evening: I actually went out. The football club had a fundraiser pub night and as much as I hate to go to these places alone, I ended up being in charge of one of the "stations" so I had to go whether I wanted to or not. It's good being in charge of stuff. It gives me something to do. Plus it makes me actually talk to people rather than sitting in a corner trying to be as small and unnoticeable as possible. And when my job was over and all the tickets had been sold, I had a couple of glasses of wine.

Sunday (all day): I stayed in bed. Did I mention the couple of glasses of wine?

Today: I know Monday is not part of the weekend. But I went out this morning and now I'm walking around with stroke mouth because of the dentist sticking needles in my mouth. I don't like it and it makes me cranky.

Oh, here's something that's actually interesting though. I may have made a new friend. I don't make friends easily; it's a tough thing to do from the comfort of my living room and public places usually see me hiding in the corner, so this is big news. She's a football mommy and she makes me laugh. Yay!


Friday, October 14, 2011

Friday Again?

You know that feeling when you feel like you're hurtling through time and space without any control? Where you have great plans to get so much done but then suddenly it's mid-October and you realize that the list is getting longer and longer and nothing is getting crossed off? No? Yeah, me neither...

Random Friday Thoughts from the brain of [Lily Starlight]:

1. We went to Awards Night at the school last night. The boys both got honours. Yay boys! They, however, both feel that going to Awards Night is a waste of time if they are just getting the one thing. I suggested they work harder to get more awards. But seriously, who thinks getting only one award is a waste of time? "Let's just skip the trip to Stockholm; it's not like I'm getting all five."

2. Occasionally when I'm out of ideas for what random thoughts I have, I check out a website called Every week it posts five questions that you can answer. This week asks: What non-food items are in your freezer? Like every mother of boys, there is a frozen snowball from about seven years ago in there. The thought was that he was going to save it until July and then totally shock his brother. Maybe that'll still happen. Although, getting hit with a frozen ball of ice is probably going to make him more angry than surprised.

3. At one of the schools that I sub for, they have a class for younger kids with problems (speech, slight autism, behavioural, etc.) This class gets them ready for Kindergarten. Yesterday, one little boy called me over really close like he thought this should be a private conversation; he said, "Teacher, you have spots all over you." I laughed and said "Sweetheart, those are called freckles. Lots and lots of people have them." He replied, with real concern in his eyes, "I think you're turning into a monster with sprinkles."

4. I hate questions that start with: What's your favourite _____? What is it about a certain thing that you can choose a favourite? Take colours, for instance. How can one have a favourite colour? I like to wear dark colours, paint my house in pastels, and accessorize both with bright and shiny. I like the happy look of bright yellow, but I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it. I like writing with purple ink, but I wouldn't want my car to be that colour. And how about food. I love salmon, but I'm not going to finish off a Mexican dinner with creamed salmon on toast. I love chocolate, but I'm not going to sit down with a large bowl of chocolate chips instead of popcorn in the evening.

5. Some other things that have made our awesome list: touchdowns, waking up and realizing you have a couple more hours before you have to get up, the smell of coffee grounds, children with English accents, and naps in the sun.

Happy Friday!


Tuesday, October 11, 2011


October is Breast Cancer month and different people celebrate (?) in different ways.

Just the other day I jinxed myself by talking about how great my car was. Not two hours later, my battery died. And that's why I'm not saying anything more about Breast Cancer.


Friday, October 7, 2011

Friday Five

I've been trying all morning (well, since I got up a couple of hours ago) to try to fix that video link. It's obviously not working. I recommend copying and pasting, but now that I've spent so much time talking it up it probably won't be that interesting. I call it the "Forrest Gump Effect." Remember when that movie first came out? People could not say enough good things about it. Unfortunately, there was no way for it to live up to all the hype...not that it's not a good movie, but when expectations are so high, there is just no way to win.

And now on to the main event:

1. Old people often complain about what the world is coming to. In "their" day children had manners, and life was simpler, and nobody ever got murdered, and everybody was always nice to everyone else. Sounds boring (well, not the murdered part--that actually sounds good). Many, many years ago, X and I were driving with our friend Ratboy to the mountains to meet his girlfriend and camp for a couple of days (you can tell how long ago this story was by the fact that I agreed to go camping). Ratboy went into a gas station bathroom and came out giggling. Apparently there had been a whiteboard in the bathroom and someone had written "Hello. From OK Falls." Very nice...except under that it said "Hello. From my ass." Which quickly spiraled into "Fuck you." I can tell you that "Hi from my ass" became a favourite saying that lasted a very long time.

2. You know those people who say "morning is my favourite time of day"? I like morning too. When it's quiet here and I can get lots done and it's quiet outside and I can go for a peaceful morning run, but the thing is...I also really like to sleep. And I love staying in bed when I get a chance and reading my book and napping. But mostly I like doing what I feel like doing when I feel like doing it. I'm not going to force myself to get up...I have the whole day to get stuff done.

3. I just took my kids for a haircut. Twin A got it all cut off. His lovely locks that he's had for about six years...gone! But, you know what? He's still a good-looking kid (if I do say so myself).

4. I have an app on my phone called StumbleUpon. Basically, you give the app a list of your interests and it sends you a whole bunch of websites that you might be interested in. One of my interests is crafting (surprise!) and soon you will see a bunch of pictures of things made of t-shirts and mason jars. Trust me; it's worth waiting for.

5. There is a city three hours south of here that I've come to loathe. This city has stolen two of my bridesmaids (including BFF), my former boss whom I loved to hang out with, and most recently, Malison and her boyfriend. Stupid thieving southern city!


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Axis of Awesome

I'm sitting in the car waiting for the twins to finish basketball practice. We came directly from football practice. I'm typing this on my iPhone, so it's a little slow.

Hmmm...I'm trying to post a YouTube video. I hope it works.

The boys and I are writing our own "Book of Awesome." Some of us seemed a little unhappy this summer so I thought if we focused on awesome things every day it might make some of us a little happier. Whatever. It's fun and sometimes surprising. We also take guest awesomes, so if there's anything you'd like to add...

Anyway, this song made our list. It's over 6 minutes long, but you're pretty hooked once it starts.