Friday, August 19, 2011

Suburban Mouse Visits Sin City

Please catch up with the rest of the Suburban Mouse series here and here.

So, yeah. I was in Vegas. Sugarplum and Bear got married and it was a beautiful wedding and she looked gorgeous and they are an adorable couple. Any cuter and they'd be animated (to quote Sugarplum). And I know they'll have a great life together because they are truly soul mates.

And the trip? The trip was awesome:

1. I went for a jog first thing every morning. And, by "first thing," I actually mean when I woke up around 930ish. Somehow jogging in Vegas is so much better than it is here. Then after my jog, I'd throw on a bikini, traipse across the casino, and sit by the pool in the full-out sun and oh man, it was hot. I loved every second of it. And...there were no bugs!

2. The food! I had a big ol' pretzel every single day. Besides that I visited the best buffet ever in the world and the cutest out of the way Italian restaurant. The main course comes with garlic bread, soup or salad, wine, and cappuccino. Also, there is a 90-some year old man there who is a tiny as a garden gnome wandering around playing the accordion. He was a huge hit with the ladies!

3. I went to the outlet stores. I bought stuff. Shoes, capris, a dress, shirts.... And because you can't go to Vegas and not come home with a terribly embarrassing story: there are kiosks in the middle of the mall, just like any other mall. One of them caught me. I seriously never let them catch me. I'm all giving that condescending "gosh, I'd stop but I don't need to be bamboozled today" smile, but my guard was obviously down because I let this guy catch me. And he said, "I'm sorry ma'am (ouch!), I don't want to insult you, but I need you to look in this mirror." It's like I've never looked in a mirror before; the wrinkles around my eyes could have filled in for the Hoover Dam. How do I leave the house looking that old every day? How do boy scouts not help me cross the road? It's surprising that a hearse doesn't follow me around just to save time. Almost $300 later, I came away with a promise to look younger. So far, I'm not totally in love with 39.

Honestly, I loved the trip. I learned that I like travelling alone (although I also like travelling with people). Congratulations again Sugarplum and Bear: I love you guys!


Monday, August 8, 2011


Me: Sitting at Yolo's [a restaurant in Vegas that Malison and her boyfriend love]; expecting big things.

Malison: Yum. I'm so jealous. Did you get the guacamole? They make it at the table.

Me: That's why I'm here. I haven't gotten my food yet...though I did get this very yummy tequila-y drink.

There is a passage of time here. Long enough to, say, finish a drink...

Me: I ordered a second tequila-y drink and it's MUCH stronger than the first. You should expect my texts to become more slurred.

Malison: Yikes! Are you alone?

Me: Yep...well, alone with thousands of people.

Malison: Any hot ones?

Me: I don't know.... Every time I see a hot boy I think he's a gambler and probably owes money to someone who's going to break his legs. I'm terribly judgmental apparently.

Malison: Tequila does that.

Me: This was before the tequila; I'm sure I'll be much less discerning now.

Malison: Tequila means cuter boys and better vocabulary. It's win-win.