Thursday, March 21, 2013

Before and After

Before:

 
 
Look at this adorable little snowflake. It was so alone and cute that I just had to take a picture of it. How, by the way, can scientists know that "no two snowflakes look the same"? Wouldn't that be impossible to know. I wonder too, how they can say that nobody shares the same fingerprints. They haven't fingerprinted everyone in the entire world. Add that to my list of fears: someone with the exact same fingerprint as me commits a crime and I can't prove it wasn't me because I spend so much time alone in my house that I really have no alibi. Shit.
 
After:
 

 
 
And this is what that cute little snowflake looks like when it calls every other snowflake every created to check out the picture I took. This is also what the first day of spring looks like this year. It's got that "never going to end" feel to it.
 
 
 
 
Before:
 
 
 
You see here before you a clean 16-year-old arm. A healthy, normal, regular arm.
 
 
 
After:

 
And now it has become a bad-ass, sit-in-a-bar-at-the-side-of-the-road-and-drink-too-much-then-hop-on-my-Harley-and-drive-without-a-helmet arm. Twin A got a tattoo. And though it's a very functional tattoo, I'm of the mind that it could have been functional and not taken up his entire forearm. He, however, likes it and therefore I keep my thoughts to myself.
 
 
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Friday, March 15, 2013

Update Five

'member back in the olden days when I used to do a Friday Five. I'm bringing it back! For today only though; I can't guarantee this is going to be a regular thing. Give me a break you guys. Committing to posting regularly is for bloggers much better than I. I can give you their addresses if you'd like...

So, obviously, you've all been waiting with bated breath for updates on what's going on in my life. Here they are:

1. Dodgeball is over. We made it to the final game in playoffs but didn't end up winning. Not only did we lose that game but we didn't get the coveted t-shirts. To be fair, I don't know if the t-shirts were coveted by anyone but me, but I need proof that I did this. Nobody would ever believe that I played an entire season of dodgeball. And by "played," I mean I played in the the first four games then really started to hate getting hurt all the time, so pretty much let the other girls play while I sat on the sidelines and cheered and pretended to be the coach. The only time after the first four games that I actually stood on the court with my team was if one of the other girls was late, and then I'd bounce around in the back and try not to get hurt until she showed up then go back to pretend-coaching. Will I ever do it again? Absolutely not. While I enjoyed the people on my team (text me; we'll go for sushi), I really don't like the game.

2. I'm still tea-less. It's not like I've given up. I've tried 21 different kinds in the last few weeks. Do you want to go back and read that again? Twenty-one different kinds. Of tea. It's such a boring beverage. I've tried kinds with popcorn, with sprinkles, kinds that smell like campfire or tropical islands. They sound like such exciting flavours...and taste like hot water. I'm not interested in putting any sort of cream or sweetener in there; I just want something that tastes how I want it to taste. I have three more kinds in the most recent batch to try so hopefully one of them is a keeper. Twin A has become very interested in the experience and joins me in trying all of the tea. He thinks they all taste like hot water too.

3. The boys got their licenses. I can't even begin to tell you how stressful it is to sit at the registries place and wait for them to come back with a pass or fail. Twin A went first. He drove away, they were gone for 20 minutes, he came back, and sat in the car with the tester-guy for the next 10 hours not making any sort of facial expression and not looking at me. Then when he finally came back, Twin B took off and the same thing happened. Both boys hugged me while we waited for his brother to come back because I looked so nervous and they felt sorry for me.

4. I got them a vehicle. When I say this, people often respond with "What spoiled lucky boys!" Here's the thing though, you guys. I didn't get them a vehicle to spoil them; I got them a vehicle so they wouldn't wreck mine. They're 16 and fresh drivers. Chances are they are going to be in a few fender-benders. I just didn't want that to happen to my car.

5. Last, but not least: I'm going to Boston! My favourite cousin's boyfriend was supposed to go with her, but he's unable to at the last minute. She doesn't want to go alone. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I'm pretty excited. She'll be in a cake decorating course so I'll be on my own to check out the town and then when she's done her course we'll have a few days to check out Salem and go to a Boston-Montreal game. I'll tell you all about it when I get back. Woo-hoo!

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