Wicked Awesome

I went to Massachusetts last week. We saw so much stuff and met so many people and it was wicked fun. Bostonians say "wicked" a lot, and speak with a fun accent. We tried to eavesdrop on as many conversations as we could just to hear it.

I got to Boston at about 5pm. Favourite Cousin (FC) wasn't due to arrive until 10, so I had some time to kill. Luckily there was a Hilton attached to the airport and secret rumour had it that if you "take care" of the bellhop, he'll store your luggage for you.

Conversation between me and the bellhop:
Me (wide-eyed and smiley like a cheerleader): Hi there! I'm not staying at this hotel but I was wondering if there was any way you could hang on to my luggage for me while I kill some time?
Bellhop (in old-timey 30s mobster accent): You take care of me; I'll take care of you.
Me (talking out of the side of my mouth and shifting my eyes around while I nonchalantly put some money into his hand): Thanks.

Honestly, I'm just the kind of person you want around when there's some sort of secret mission happening. You wouldn't even believe how breezy I can be.

Anyway, I then caught the silver line into the city and hopped on the blue line to head to the Aquarium. See? Breezy. Alright, it may not have been that easy; I had to ask four or five different people for directions just to see if I was in the right place. But, eventually, I made it to the Aquarium...10 minutes after it closed.

So I took myself out for dinner instead. I sat in a fancy restaurant looking slightly homeless after travelling for the entire day, and ordered an appetizer, main course, dessert and a couple glasses of wine. It was lovely and so yummy. Every time the waiter brought out another dish, I'd jump up and down in my seat and clap my hands...so appearing not only homeless but perhaps a tad mentally handicapped as well.

Eventually I made it back to the airport, picked up my luggage, waited for FC in the wrong terminal, met her at the car rental place and we headed to our first destination.

We started in Foxboro. It's where they keep the stadium for the New England Patriots. I never actually saw the stadium though. I actually only saw the hotel in Foxboro cause every time I left, I ended up in a different town. There was a 170-shop outlet mall close by. So I did that while FC learned how to make herself look like a Muppet in cake form.

After leaving Foxboro, we went up to the Cape. When I tell people this out loud I always jut my chin out and talk through my teeth. Because that's how you say things like that I suppose. We spent some of our time walking to a lighthouse--through the forest, across the ocean (it was low tide), and over the sand dunes. We think this is probably much more lovely in summer, but it was a nice walk just the same.

 

In Cape Cod, we stayed at a little bed and breakfast in Provincetown called the Whitewind Inn. Cutest place ever. Our hosts name was Jeffrey; he was wicked awesome.

 

 

After leaving there the next morning, we stopped in Plymouth where we saw this.

 

It was overwhelming how much history the state has. I know it's not my history, but to be near a site where something so important happened 400 years ago was amazing.

 

 

That night, we stayed in Salem. We went to a couple of witch museums but I was pretty underwhelmed by them. Like everything else in Massachusetts, most of the good stuff is closed until it warms up.

 

We got our tarot cards read though. What else would you do in a place known for witches and magic? I, apparently, am supposed to meet the love of my life in late-July and he will be "different looking...like Spanish." I'm not really sure what's so different-looking about Spanish people but that's what she said. She also said he "would give me a run for my money." That sounds dramatic and not at all what I'd like. The love of my life sounds like too much work with all his running for my money and different looking-ness. Ugh.

 

After Salem we headed for Harvard and MIT. I loved both places. And what a difference between them. Harvard is all brick and stone and old looking and MIT (though founded in 1861) looks more modern.

 



The picture below is the Bill Gates building. It looks a lot like something from Dr. Seuss. 

 

That night we sat in TD Garden and watched the Boston-Montreal game. It was probably the most exciting game either team had played all year (though I wouldn't actually know because I don't follow the Eastern Conference). It ended in a tie, they played the 5-minute overtime, then did the shootout. It was wicked exciting.

 

 

And finally, we spent the next day touring around Boston. 

 

 

And now I'm home and things are back to normal.

 

 

--

Before and After

Before:

 

 

Look at this adorable little snowflake. It was so alone and cute that I just had to take a picture of it. How, by the way, can scientists know that "no two snowflakes look the same"? Wouldn't that be impossible to know. I wonder too, how they can say that nobody shares the same fingerprints. They haven't fingerprinted everyone in the entire world. Add that to my list of fears: someone with the exact same fingerprint as me commits a crime and I can't prove it wasn't me because I spend so much time alone in my house that I really have no alibi. Shit.

 

After:

 



 

 

And this is what that cute little snowflake looks like when it calls every other snowflake every created to check out the picture I took. This is also what the first day of spring looks like this year. It's got that "never going to end" feel to it.

 

 

 

 

Before:

 

 

 

You see here before you a clean 16-year-old arm. A healthy, normal, regular arm.

 

 

 

After:

 

And now it has become a bad-ass, sit-in-a-bar-at-the-side-of-the-road-and-drink-too-much-then-hop-on-my-Harley-and-drive-without-a-helmet arm. Twin A got a tattoo. And though it's a very functional tattoo, I'm of the mind that it could have been functional and not taken up his entire forearm. He, however, likes it and therefore I keep my thoughts to myself.

 

 

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Update Five

'member back in the olden days when I used to do a Friday Five. I'm bringing it back! For today only though; I can't guarantee this is going to be a regular thing. Give me a break you guys. Committing to posting regularly is for bloggers much better than I. I can give you their addresses if you'd like...

So, obviously, you've all been waiting with bated breath for updates on what's going on in my life. Here they are:

1. Dodgeball is over. We made it to the final game in playoffs but didn't end up winning. Not only did we lose that game but we didn't get the coveted t-shirts. To be fair, I don't know if the t-shirts were coveted by anyone but me, but I need proof that I did this. Nobody would ever believe that I played an entire season of dodgeball. And by "played," I mean I played in the the first four games then really started to hate getting hurt all the time, so pretty much let the other girls play while I sat on the sidelines and cheered and pretended to be the coach. The only time after the first four games that I actually stood on the court with my team was if one of the other girls was late, and then I'd bounce around in the back and try not to get hurt until she showed up then go back to pretend-coaching. Will I ever do it again? Absolutely not. While I enjoyed the people on my team (text me; we'll go for sushi), I really don't like the game.

2. I'm still tea-less. It's not like I've given up. I've tried 21 different kinds in the last few weeks. Do you want to go back and read that again? Twenty-one different kinds. Of tea. It's such a boring beverage. I've tried kinds with popcorn, with sprinkles, kinds that smell like campfire or tropical islands. They sound like such exciting flavours...and taste like hot water. I'm not interested in putting any sort of cream or sweetener in there; I just want something that tastes how I want it to taste. I have three more kinds in the most recent batch to try so hopefully one of them is a keeper. Twin A has become very interested in the experience and joins me in trying all of the tea. He thinks they all taste like hot water too.

3. The boys got their licenses. I can't even begin to tell you how stressful it is to sit at the registries place and wait for them to come back with a pass or fail. Twin A went first. He drove away, they were gone for 20 minutes, he came back, and sat in the car with the tester-guy for the next 10 hours not making any sort of facial expression and not looking at me. Then when he finally came back, Twin B took off and the same thing happened. Both boys hugged me while we waited for his brother to come back because I looked so nervous and they felt sorry for me.

4. I got them a vehicle. When I say this, people often respond with "What spoiled lucky boys!" Here's the thing though, you guys. I didn't get them a vehicle to spoil them; I got them a vehicle so they wouldn't wreck mine. They're 16 and fresh drivers. Chances are they are going to be in a few fender-benders. I just didn't want that to happen to my car.

5. Last, but not least: I'm going to Boston! My favourite cousin's boyfriend was supposed to go with her, but he's unable to at the last minute. She doesn't want to go alone. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I'm pretty excited. She'll be in a cake decorating course so I'll be on my own to check out the town and then when she's done her course we'll have a few days to check out Salem and go to a Boston-Montreal game. I'll tell you all about it when I get back. Woo-hoo!

--

Tea...For Just One

Lately I have been freezing. The boys are peeling off clothing until they're sitting there in their underwear while I throw on layer after layer and huddle under multiple blankets. They're opening their windows and I'm sleeping with socks on.

A few weeks ago, I was out for dinner with a very thoughtful friend and she ordered tea so I could wrap my hands around a warm cup. I have always disliked warm beverages (except occasionally hot chocolate but only if there's Bailey's in it). But I tried a sip of tea and it wasn't as horrible as every other tea I had ever tried so I thought perhaps there might possibly be a tea out there that I could enjoy.

Yesterday I went to a local tea place and told the girl behind the counter what I was looking for. I said: "I'm looking for a tea with a woody flavour, like how you think a tree might taste, but not a pine tree cause that's gross." And I said: "You know how when you're eating a bag of sunflower seeds and there's always that one seed that tastes different than the rest but it's really, really yummy? I want it to taste like that." She just looked confused and scared.

After pulling about 20 canisters down off the wall of tea, I managed to pick four that smelled good. And I tried them all last night and this morning. I'm pretty serious about finding a tea. Every couple of years, I think I should try it. I'll think that raspberry tea should be good because it has raspberries in it. Then I'll realize, as I'm discreetly spitting it back into the cup, that raspberry tea in no way resembles raspberries.

These are the four I tried yesterday:

1. Fantasy Island - a black tea with coconut and raspberries. It wasn't awful but not exactly the flavour I'm looking for.

2. Glitter & Gold - Chinese black tea, sugar crystals, gold sugar balls (so it looks cool), vanilla, orange peel, and cloves. Again, not horrible, but I'm thinking the black tea part is the part I'm not responding too. Cause how do you dislike a tea that has little gold balls in it?

3. Checkmate - It's a white tea. But it also is a black tea. And it has coconut and Roman chamomile (I have no idea what that means). It's ok, but still...say it with me...not the flavour I'm looking for.

4. Movie Night - I wanted to love this one. It's a green tea with apple and popcorn. Popcorn in the tea leaves! I'm drinking it right now actually. And I've had about half a cup which is more than any of the others I tried. But it's still not perfect.

I told my mom about my search for tea and she sent over three other kinds to try. And I'm going to another friend's house this morning and she's got an assortment she thinks I should try. How much tea is too much to drink in one day? Is more than eight sips too many?

Anyway, let me know if you have any suggestions.

--


 

3-2-1 Dodgeball!

It has now been four weeks since I stated playing dodgeball. The first week was nice. I'm glad we started with that team because the two teams we played after them would have certainly convinced me never to go back if that's what it would be like. I'm quite certain that both these teams were made up entirely of professional pitchers looking for something to do in the off season. I came home both weeks with bruises and possible internal injuries; I could not feel my liver or my spleen.

I've realized in the last few weeks why I've never been an "athlete." It's not because I don't enjoy the activity, because I really like breaking a sweat and the sense of camaraderie I have with my teammates. What I don't like is the idea that I could get hurt. I was watching the boys play basketball last weekend and Twin A jammed three fingers on the ball. His hand swelled up to twice its size and I thought "how is that fun?" Or how in football the whole point is to run into each other as hard as you can. Or how in lacrosse, a good portion on the game is people hitting you with a stick. Seriously, how is that fun?

My strategy for playing dodgeball, for the most part, is to stand in the back jumping around with my hands up to make it look like I'm ready for anything. But really I'm hiding behind my teammates. Occasionally, if it seems safe, I'll pick up a ball and throw it. The problem being that I'm not very good at throwing and the balls leaving my hand tend to travel in slow motion. Giving players on the other team plenty of time to throw they ball they have, plot my ball's trajectory, stand under it, and wait for it to fall in their hands, causing me to be out.

My non-aggressive strategy means that sometimes I'm the last person left on my team. Sometimes I run out of people to shield me and there are blood-thirsty people on the other team pitching projectiles at me all over the place. Which leads me to the game we played last Wednesday.

This team was so much nicer than the last two we played. Their aim was sometimes a little off as it's not ok to take head shots, but for the most part, the balls they threw weren't causing any discoloration of my skin and the level of intensity wasn't so extremely high. Every game has to be played in a maximum of five minutes. We'd never actually taken that long to play a game before but it happened a couple of time in this last match. And one of those times, I was the only person left on my side, the last other person getting out at four minutes and twenty seconds. All I had to do was last forty seconds and the game would go into sudden death (which means the rest of my team comes back on and I can go back to jumping around in the background).

By thirty seconds, both of their players have taken a shot at me and my lack of wanting to get hurt makes me a pretty good dodger, so I'm still in. I can hear my team chattering in the background and as I lean down to pick up a ball, I hear someone say: "Just dodge; you don't need to get them out."

But now there's a huge problem. (29,28,27) Because I now have a ball in my hand and the rules say I have to get rid of it within ten seconds. And I can't just drop it, it has to go over the centre line. (26,25,24) But we all know if I throw it, they'll catch it so the idea is to throw it as low as possible but not actually at someone. (23,22,21).

So I throw it! And, in slow motion, cause that's how I throw, (20,19,18) it lands six inches short of the centre line. With 15 seconds left until sudden death, I have just lost the game.

What was nice was that all five of my teammates was sure to high five me and giggle as they walked by me to set themselves up for the next game. And in that next game, the one time I picked up a ball to throw it, the whole gym erupted in cheers when I got it over the centre line. So supportive and sweet. You know they are thrilled to have me as part of their team.

--

16

They were born on a Sunday. That means all kinds of good things according to that old poem. "A child that's born on the Sabbath day is fair and wise and good and gay." Their due date was a Tuesday though: "Tuesday's child is full of grace." Either way, they were bound to be pretty cool.

Some other stuff that happened 16 years ago:

• Princess Diana and Mother Theresa died.
• Michael Jackson's first son was born.
• England gave Hong Kong back to China.
• Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield's ear off.
• Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was published.

This was the first time in a long time we were in town for their birthday. I usually pull them out of school and go somewhere. But, we just came home from Mexico and their birthday was on a Saturday. So we stayed in town and they didn't go to school.

The day started with an 830am basketball game.

Then we went for breakfast with another player and his family.

Then we came home and rested until some friends showed up.

I took 7 teenagers, 3 adults, a toddler, and a baby out for dinner. It was awesome. There was live entertainment. And the boys had fun.

Then all the teenagers came to my house. And I don't know if I've ever told you guys how much I love my sons' friends. Seven 15- and 16-year-old boys are known to cause problems: to sneak alcohol in, to break things, to just be all around troublemakers.

Three teenagers are upstairs hanging out while the other four are in the basement talking about music.
One of the upstairs kids: Let's draw pictures and colour them. Do you have any crayons? What should we draw?

Later on: Let's get the downstairs kids to judge them. We won't tell them who drew which one.

The other kids judge them. And they deliberated. They locked themselves in the bathroom and we could hear shouting and arguing. I won! 

 

But only because of this little guy in the moat:

 

When obviously the winner should have been:

 



But the judges didn't like how the dragon was sleeping on a cloud. Crazy judges.

And then we switched where the downstairs group drew and coloured their own pictures and the rest of us voted on them. I, sadly, did not get a picture of these ones. But the winner drew a crocodile in his too.

And then the boys all disappeared into the basement and I didn't see them again until morning.

 The table didn't look like this for long.

Happy birthday Twin A and Twin B. Thanks for being so fair and wise and good and gay and also full of grace. Mama loves you.

--

Suburban Mouse Goes to Mexico

 

 

 

 

 

This was the lobby of my resort.

I swam with dolphins. I wasn't sure about doing that, but if you know me at all, you know that I'm all about showing my kids how to be brave and trying new things. So, I swam with the dolphins. It wasn't horrible. The dolphins were nice people and I think we got along well. I did that thing where they push on my feet and I fly through the water. And I learned how hard dolphins' noses are, cause my feet hurt after that. I got a cramp in my foot as I was swimming back to where my people were, so I was hanging on to my foot, which made it somewhat hard to swim with just the one foot and one arm. Luckily, I've had some training in funny swims. I had a friend with a pool when I was young and we made up a lot of different ways to get across a pool. My favourite was the monster swim where we'd hold hands. It was kind of like a three-legged race only with arms and in water.

I watched my little cousin get married. It was a beautiful wedding. It would have been beautiful even if the bride was ugly (she's not) or the groom had two heads (he doesn't) because they got married on the beach and that is a beautiful background. Except there was this large, weird, shirtless man wandering around the beach taking pictures of the wedding. So that was a little creepy.

I went on a catamaran and swam with the fishes. That last sentence might sound a little mobster-ish but I really did swim with fish; I wasn't dead or anything. The catamaran trip was about three hours total but at least half of that was spent snorkelling in different locations.

I exercised. My favourite cousin has a new goal where she's decided that she'd like to run a marathon on every continent. She is currently training to run the China Wall. So I woke up at 6am and went for a run or worked out in the gym a few times. For some reason, I enjoy running on holidays a lot more than I enjoy running at home. Twin A told me the other day that the difference in weather between here and there was 72 degrees (Celsius). Perhaps that's why I'd rather run there.

Anyway, those are the highlights. I also spent a lot of time by the pool drinking fun alcoholic concoctions and visiting with family members that I don't see often. And, when I was tired of people, I did this: