Love

My bff just got married. Her and her husband took off to Hawaii and, surrounded by the officiator, the photographer, and a guy playing the guitar, were joined in matrimony. The pictures show a beautiful ceremony. And as much as I would have liked to have been there to celebrate such a momentous occasion, I'm happy they had it just the way they wanted. They're such a great couple--I never thought I'd see the day when she would compromise on anything (not that she's selfish and horrible, just that she knows how she wants things to be and doesn't see a need to try it any other way), but with him: she compromises and is happy to do it. They are in love. It's lovely.

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I always thought she was a little too picky. The man she fell in love with would be This, This, and This and there was no way she would settle for a That, That, and That. Me? I figured I could love anyone. If there was something I didn't like in a mate, I would give him a chance to change...and then another chance, and then another.

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But now I realize. She's right! I need to have deal-breakers and they need to be a for sure thing. When next I fall in love, I want to be in love for the rest of my life. I don't want to settle for someone just because he loves me.

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The last boyfriend I broke up with wished me good luck finding someone to love me because guys don't want girls with baggage. Everyone has baggage; the man I spend the rest of my life with will not consider what I have to be baggage. And I don't expect our lives will be perfectly easy, but knowing exactly what I want and don't want will certainly cut down on time wasted.

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1. I want a professional man. I want someone who has the same or better education. I want to be intellectually on the same level. I don't want to be the teacher in the relationship; I want to learn stuff too.

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2. He has to have money. I'm not saying he has to be a millionaire, but at this age he has to have his own home, a vehicle, savings for retirement and still be able to spoil me a little. I don't want to hitch my wagon to someone who's not going to be able to retire or travel.

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3. Physically I would like him to be taller than me. And at least as active if not more active than I am. I'd like to have someone I have to keep up with. It's too easy for me to relax and before you know it, I'm relaxing for weeks at a time.

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4. But mostly I want someone who I will compromise for and be happy to do it. I don't want to compromise because that's what people do when they're in a relationship. I want to compromise because I truly want the best for him. Because I truly believe that he deserves it. And because I truly believe that he deserves me.

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