Some stuff I've been thinking about

These are some things I've been thinking about lately:

1. My cousin: He is in the midst of trying to remove his childrens' mother from their lives. He has four kids--two girls and two boys. The girls have been protected from her for as long as they've been alive. She can see them, but she's not allowed to take them. The boys however, have the pleasure of being in her company often. Last week, she hit them with a broom handle on their legs, arms, and backs. Why? Because it was 830 at night and they were whining because they wanted to have dinner.

Anyway, my cousin is a good guy. He's quite a bit younger than me. He grew up on the family farm. His parents split up when he was young and his mom and two younger siblings moved to a different province. He stayed with his dad. I love my uncle, but he hasn't always been the most responsible guy, and my cousin has always been the adult. It makes sense then that he would fight to have full custody of his four children. He's a caretaker. And thank god for that.

But the thing is, he's stuck. He lives an hour and a half from a big city; he doesn't have enough education to do more than farm and occasionally work as a bartender for the local bar. He doesn't have a whole lot of options open to him, especially with full custody of four kids. And the true heartbreak lies in the fact that these kids don't have the opportunities that other kids (mine for instance) have and so they will more than likely follow this farmer/bartender path as well.

It's just so sad. And I'm so helpless to do anything.

2. Why am I procrastinating on starting the rest of my life? I was all gung-ho. I quit my job with big plans to do a few different things. And then...stopped. It's like if I don't try I won't fail. But honestly, I need to get moving on these things; the money I have now is not going to last forever. (Especially with three sports that need to be paid for rightthissecond.) One thing I have to do is move a desk upstairs from my basement. Instead of just doing that, I had my fireplace removed, necessitating the need to paint my entire living room, which of course, can only happen if I fill all the holes. So, obviously, I can't move the desk upstairs yet, which means I can't put my sewing machine on it, which means I can't start my life. There has to be a way around all of this...

3. My body. It's yucky. I want not to think about it, though, so I made a deal with a friend that we wouldn't. I'll still workout/run every day and not be stupid about what I put into my mouth, but, other than that, no weight talking here. Deal?

That's probably not all I've been thinking about. But enough for today. I'm feeling kind of heavy (but not in a weigh-too-much way because I don't talk about that here, more in an emotional way). I think I'll read a little lamebook.com to lighten the mood.