May Long

May Long Weekend is one of my favourite times of the year. Every year for the past 10 years, I have spent the weekend in a mountain town with BFF. We eat and sleep and shop. And though our weekend looks very different than it did 10 years ago, we still manage to have the BEST TIME EVER!

This year, though, we decided to skip May Long Weekend and go away in the summer instead. And while I'm looking forward to that summer trip, I think we've both made a decision regarding May Long. And that is: What the fuck were we thinking?

Don't get me wrong; as you well know, I love spending time with my kids and time away from home with them is always a bonding experience, but this one weekend a year is mine. Where I don't have to worry about kid stuff. Hell, I don't even have to act grown up at all.

But this year:

Instead of spending the day shopping and having scheduled naps, I got to drive sweaty, smelly teenagers around and sit in freezing cold arenas for a lacrosse tournament in a city that is not that familiar.

Instead of enjoying culinary treats from fancy restaurants, I got to dine in family restaurants with at least eight teenage boys and some adults whose names I still don't know.

Instead of sleeping on pillowy soft beds in a hotel known for their comfort, I got to stay in a hotel with "comfort" in the name only. The mixture of linen with, at most, 100-thread count and the bleach used to clean the linen would cause my eyes to swell and the bed made of plywood and springs would cause my back to hurt so every morning I resembled the Disney version of Quasimodo in the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

And lastly, instead of enjoying fine wines from all over served by knowledgeable sommeliers, BFF and Honey took a $50 cab ride across the city only to end up at a (surprise!) dry wedding.

Never again!

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