R is for Really Ridiculously Spoiled

I enjoy my birthday. I like the presents and the weeks-long celebration. There are people that believe that birthdays are for children or they don’t like so much attention centred upon them. I am not one of these people. I love the multiple birthday lunches and funny and thoughtful cards and whatnot.

 

It started a few days before my birthday when a mysterious package showed up on my doorstep. I opened it the minute I got it in the door…even though it wasn’t even my birthday yet. I’m a birthday rebel. The package was from Sugarplum; she sent me a box of sunshine. I actually squealed when I pulled back the tissue paper.

 

 

BFF came north to take her mom to Les Mis so I got to see her for lunch one day. She took me out for lunch at a very cool New Orleans style diner and bought me a very thoughtful card. Sometimes BFF will send me mail: she’ll go out and handpick a card from a specialty store, take the time to address it, and take it personally to the post office. She could spend hours driving all over town just to send me mail. But I know better than to expect flowery or informative correspondence. Often there’ll be a drawing of a guy smoking a cigarette (that’s all she knows how to draw) or just a simple “hi.” I know what she means though.

 

This is my birthday card from BFF. It is not written in or even taken out of the protective plastic wrapper…but I know what she means. That girl makes me giggle more than most people.

 

Another friend took me out for dinner one night. I could spend every waking minute with this friend: we have a lot in common and have a history together that’s pretty interesting (there's a good chance she'll be a blog post sometime). I stumbled away from the dinner with a belly full of amazing food and wine, a heart full of encouragement and understanding, and a pocket full of gift card for Anthropologie!

The rest of the week was filled with more lunches and gifts. I was taken out for lunch with some really good football-mommy friends; Thursday-night-friend brought me a new book and a treat from DQ; I was just all around really ridiculously spoiled.

 

And I got a pretty and new laptop.

 

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Q is for Quiz

Twenty-five questions from a random internet quiz. My challenge is to answer all of them and not delete any of the questions because I think they’re stupid.

1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
I went to bed around 130. I don’t usually go to bed that late but I got home late from Twin A’s lacrosse game and I like to have some time to relax before bed. Also, I was watching a show and I just couldn’t stop myself from watching the next episode and then the next.

I was alone save for my thoughts and dreams and a good book.

2. If you could be given ANY gift, what would it be?
It just so happens that my birthday is coming up, so I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. Probably I’m supposed to answer this as unselfishly as possible or with some thought given to non- material things like “one more day with my deceased grandfather.” Today I feel a little more practical so: a fence to block the sound of those stupid dogs next door, a new garage roof, a new shed beside my house, a maid for a day, a new kitchen floor, an iPad, a trip to Europe or New York or even Toronto, and a week at some resort by myself.

3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to go to the theatre more. That lasted about a week, but still, I’ve seen more movies this year than any other year, so I guess I’ve accomplished my resolution just the same. The other night, I saw This is the End. There were thrilling and disturbing parts but really it mostly was hilarious.  

4. What is your favourite TV show of all time ( ie. you've seen them all, can watch it over and over again, and quote lines from it?) Friends. There is never a situation in life that doesn’t relate to a Friends episode. I probably wouldn’t say it’s my favourite show but I’ve seen them all, I watch them over and over again and I can quote lines from it, so obviously it’s up there.

5. What’s your favourite way to wake up and what’s the first thing you do? My favourite way to wake up is after I’ve slept all I can and I wake up on my own, not because I’ve heard any loud noise (I’m talking to you dogs next door). And then I like to just lay there: read my book, play with my phone, daydream. I don’t mind waking up so much but I often really dislike actually getting out of my bed.  

6. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name?
Lily

7. If you had to do a Bush Tucker challenge (you have to eat insects/grubs, etc.) what would be the worst thing you had to eat? Eating anything that is still living is pretty gross; I’m not sure I could pick just one thing to be grosser than another.

8. What’s the worst/most embarrassing CD/Album you've ever owned and do you still have it?
I can’t think of an album that I’ve owned that I’m embarrassed about, but it does remind me of a story. I once had a boyfriend who drove a Pontiac Tracker. He had a soft top for summer and one day he parked it in a seedy parking lot. As is bound to happen, the top was slashed and his stereo along with most of his cassette tapes went missing. In his tape case, he had every Doors album ever made, many other Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, Kiss albums: respectable music for the time. He came back to his car to find that they’d taken the whole case and left one tape sitting on the driver’s seat: Vanilla Ice.

9. What would be your dream vehicle (bikes, cars, boats, Batcar and Millennium Falcon is allowed!)?
Remember how KITT from Night Rider was the coolest car ever?  But if you owned it now it would not really be that cool. Personally, I like the look of the BMW SUV.

10. What’s your favourite fantasy people sandwich?
What the hell is a fantasy people sandwich? That sounds like something I wouldn’t eat in a Bush tucker challenge.

11. What characteristics do you dislike in yourself?
This is just an opportunity for judgy and self-righteous people to go on and on about if you don’t like something about yourself then you should just change it. I’m not falling into that trap my friends.

12. Your favourite item of clothing and why?
Mens X-large t-shirts and lounge pants. They are comfortable. If I’m in my house, that’s what I’m wearing.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be and who would it be with?
I’m not sure I could pick just one place. There are so many places I want to see. And I would definitely want to go with Twin A and Twin B. They are who I’m most comfortable with.  

14. If you could have any animal/creature, what would be your ultimate pet be?
I don’t want a pet. It’s not that I hate animals, but I just don’t want to care for one. Feeding, vet bills, finding someone to watch them when I go on vacation, watching them die…not interested, thanks.

15. What did you want to be when you were little and do you think you ever will be?
I wanted to be a nurse and a ballerina and a stock broker and an architect. A teacher, an airline stewardess, and a factory worker. I am none of those things.

PS. I wanted to be a factory worker because Sesame Street made it look so cool. I also really enjoy watching How It's Made.

16. What’s the next planned event you're looking forward to in your life?
I have plans for lunch with BFF next Tuesday. I’m totally looking forward to that.  

17. What were you doing before you started this?
Uhhhh…I started this over a week ago. Today I was gardening before I got back into it.

Before:

After:

18. What was the last thing you ate that you really shouldn’t have? I made a cake yesterday. It’s the easiest cake in the world. Pour four cups of rhubarb in a pan, sprinkle strawberry Jell-o on top, then sprinkle a box of cake mix on that, then pour a cup of water on, cover with tin foil and bake at 350 for half an hour. Anyway, I had three pieces of that yesterday. Oops. And also, yum. 

19. If you were an ice cream flavour, what would you be?
Neapolitan. I’m never just one thing. I don’t like to be put in a box. Not cause I’m claustrophobic though. I mean a metaphorical box.

20. Who was the last person you spoke to that you didn’t want to talk to? I don’t make a habit of speaking to people that I’m not interested in speaking to.  

21. What was your favourite toy as a child?
Fashion Plates. It was this toy that let you design outfits. It had patterns that you could use as well. I had a piggy bank shaped like a telephone, so I would take orders and then design outfits for my customers. It was awesome.  I wish I still had that.

22. When was the last time you cried laughing and why?
I saw This is the End the other night.

23. What is stashed under your bed/mattress?
Shoes. Lots and lots of shoes. Bins full of them.  

24. What did you dream about last night?
I don’t remember dreaming. This is a dumb question. And I’m really glad this is just about over.

25. What are you really afraid of?
Many things. Mostly something bad happening to my kids. I’m also scared that someone who looks exactly like me will commit a crime and I’ll get accused and not have an alibi. And I’m afraid of getting old and not having as much mobility and being more achy and painy. And I’m afraid that I’m never going to finish this quiz. And I’m scared that you stopped reading, but not really that scared because this is really boring. Sorry.

 

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P is for Photos

You thought more posts were getting less and less wordy?

The three of us in a kaleidoscope

lacrosse in small-town Alberta

Can't decide what shoes to wear

Original art by my friend's daughter, Kate

My kitchen without a stove

Affiliating to the Junior team

 

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O is for Oragami

You’ve probably noticed that for the last few days, I’ve been kinda phoning it in. It’s cause of the boys. They’re home.  For summer. All the time. They never leave. And the only time they get up from the couch is to walk past me and ask what I’m writing and what I’m doing and looking over my shoulder and though I’m somewhat sure that they’ve found my blog, I’m certainly not advertising it if they haven’t. Anyway, hopefully soon they’ll both have jobs and I’ll have my space back to babble on and on like I do.

 

I don’t know what it is about little bits of paper but I love folding them. My origami skills are pretty basic so it gets pretty boring making the same things all the time, though. I found a website that shows me how to fold more stuff (http://www.origamispirit.com/) and sometimes I spend far too much time there.

 

 

Going to restaurants with me is a treat. Straw and chopstick holders become roses, coasters become boats, paper placemats (sometimes I don’t go to fancy restaurants) become cootie catchers or boxes. If there’s a lull in the conversation, you can just watch me fiddle with tiny bits of paper.

 

 

My cousin hates tiny bits of paper. She thinks their dirty. Poor girl had to spend a week in Boston watching me fold gum wrappers into birds.

 

 

Why do I do it? What’s it good for? I don’t know and nothing really. But I like it and it gives me something to do sometimes when my hands are bored.

 

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N is for Netflix

About six months ago, I finally buckled and we got Netflix. Previously to that, our local carrier offered us some movie channels for only $6 a month. Sounded good so we got them and watched a few movies and then suddenly all of the movies on those channels became really lame. Like the Hallmark movies the W channel plays at Christmas kind of lame. I’m not sure what happened there, but I’m guessing it had to do with licensing and other legal-sounding things. But lame is lame so I cancelled them and got Netflix.

 

I’m a TV watcher. So are my kids. I will never be one of those people standing up there on my soapbox talking about how I rarely watch TV or how I don’t even own a TV. Cause I do own (more than) one and I watch them. Particularly in the evening when I’m settling in and decompressing from my day.

 

Netflix has been the greatest thing to ever happen to our TV. I’m discovering shows I’ve never even heard of and others that I’ve always thought I might like but didn’t watch from the beginning so it was too late to start.

 

Right now, because the boys are now on summer holidays, they are watching Top Gear. It’s a British show with these guys that like cars. And they drive them around. I may not be selling this show very well but only because I think it’s stupid. Some shows are just boy shows.

 

My favourite show so far has been The United States of Tara. It’s about this lady living in the suburbs with her husband and kids…but she has multiple personalities. It is fascinating, not just because she is different than the rest of us but because the actress that plays her plays all these personalities really well. I definitely recommend this one.

 

Lately I have been watching Being Erica. I started watching this one weekly on TV when it first came out and really enjoyed it, but for some reason didn’t watch the second season. Boy, did I miss out. Yet another recommendation.

 

The boys and I have been watching Arrested Development together. I’ve seen the first three seasons but it was a while ago and I’m enjoying sharing it with the boys. I cannot wait to get to the new season. And so I leave you with:

 

 

M is for Mythology

I took a class in college about Greek Mythology. It was amazing class, not just because the material was interesting but also because…let me back up.

 

There was this kid in my class. He was youngish, like right out of high school. Turns out he’d actually been homeschooled but that isn’t the point. He was young and awkward and people really wanted to be nice to him but, and I can’t stress this enough, this kid was the most annoying person in the history of time. He was boring and never stopped talking which would have been fine if he had anything interesting to say. When a teacher asked if there were any questions, he always did. And they were stupid questions. Like he’d learned somewhere that if someone asks if you have questions, you’d better find a fucking question to ask. And in his quest to sound intelligent, he often interrupted whomever else was speaking with his own thoughts. It was hard to be nice is what I’m saying.

 

Anyway, the instructor in Mythology would walk into class, turn out the lights, throw on the projector, talk for the entire class while showing the appropriate slides then leave. She explained everything she needed to explain and left. She never asked if anyone had questions. She never gave him a chance to be annoying. I think he tried once, in the beginning, to engage the teacher in his own conversation but she shut him down. And it was AWESOME!

 

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L is for Letters to Mom, Lost, Lacrosse, Last Names, and Lamp

Remember Friday Fives? And then remember when I was going to bring back Friday Fives but then I posted once and you didn’t hear from me again for a couple of months. Well, I’m not bringing it back or promising anything, but it is Friday and I have five things to say is all I’m saying.

 

1. Letters to Mom

As discussed previously, Twin B has been practicing his left-handed writing in the Letters to Mom notebook. His writing has gotten a lot better in the last three weeks; it’s impressive really. His left-handed writing is better than many people’s dominant-hand writing (I may or may not be talking directly to Malison here.)

 

I have learned other things about Twin B over this process too. I’ve learned that he is unflaggingly logical. I’ll ask him questions like if he got to choose an alternate time in history to live, when would it be or where do you see yourself in ten years and he cannot answer. Something in his brain will not let him consider using his imagination to pretend an alternate life. It’s an interesting observation. I’ve also learned that he really dislikes people hurting each other, he’d rather have seasons than one long summer, and he wouldn’t change any action that he’s ever made because he doesn’t have any regrets. Oh, and when I asked him what band he would most like to be the singer for he said “Nirvana, cause they could use one.” Dark humour: the Starlight family way.

 

2. Lost

I am a champion at getting lost. I could be driving somewhere I’ve driven to a million times before, accidentally take a wrong turn, and end up in a different city. My kids can count on one hand how many times they’ve driven with me that didn’t include an illegal u-turn. I’ve always tried to sell it as an adventure.

 

And I think I’ve done my kids favour. Most people, when they’re lost, get really stressed and snappy. You can only talk to them in a certain tone of voice (softly but not condescendingly) and only if you’re telling them the right directions otherwise you should just shut the fuck up. I’ve taken the stress out of getting lost. BECAUSE WE’RE NOT STILL LOST. Every single time we’ve taken a wrong turn or driven to an opposite address or couldn’t find the entrance to the parking lot has ended up with us finding our way and then later getting home safely. They know this because they’ve lived it and it has made them better drivers (despite all the illegal u-turns).

 

Twin B just went to pick up a friend for the first time. She told him she lived behind the 7-Eleven and so that’s where he went. There are four 7-Elevens on that street (it’s a long street, but still a little excessive). He called telling me where he was and the address he was trying to get to and I gave him directions. Then he called again when he took a wrong turn after that. He sounded weary, like he was looking forward to getting to his destination at some point today, but he did not sound stressed.

 

You’re welcome boys.

 

3. Lacrosse

It is the time of the year when I cannot wait for this sport to end. I’m tired of showing up at every practice to complaining and being ignored. I’m tired of the inevitable drama that always surrounds a group of parents working towards a common goal. And I’m tired of holding off on making any plans before I know the practice and game schedule. We are in the final stretch; playoffs start this weekend and then a tournament on the Canada Day long weekend. And then that month without sports can begin!

 

4. Last Names

My boys have a different last name than I do. I used to have their last name but changed it back to my maiden name when I was in school so my degree would use my name, not my ex-husband’s. Occasionally people, usually my kids’ friends, will call me Mrs. X and mostly I just answer to it because it’s easier. But my kids and their friends that know better have a huge problem with this and will tell that kid my last name but that they should call me [Lily] or Your Highness. I have trained those kids well.

 

They also tell people I’m 27.

 

5. Lamp

 

 

Stay classy, San Francisco

 

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